I am tired !!! today my department head told mi that starting from next week i will go into the 2 shifts.. all the way till july then change to 3 shifts.. everything's so sudden.. i am kinda freaking out.. bcos i am stil not confident of my testings.. faintz...

yesterday did ot wif muang n kc till 630.. muang was asking mi abt my r/s.. really speechless i dont know how to tell him also.. he veri ji dan de lo !! whole day trying to scare mi.. siao..
After work took mrt wif kc, josephine n muang.. heard sth that was quite shocking.. bwg !!
went down to town to meet up wif jr, spencer n lingzi.. we went to watch xmen.. ok.. mayb cos i was too tired... i fell aslp during the movie.. so basically i just wasted my money la hur !

Today after work i went to check out the aerobics n kick-boxing class that joanne took.. n i so wanna join !! cos i just find the place so homely.. haha.. the ppl there are so friendly.. i wanna stay healthy.. haha..

Anyway, i am starting to get really irritated wif DL aka Dicky.. Can someone tell mi where got ppl as thick skin as him? go around telling ppl i am his gf.... n he can just pull mi into his arms just lidat.. so dotz !! I really started to scold him for no reason.. n i think i am mean to him la.. i really just gave him a straight no for everything he asked...

But i am stil damn irritated can ! grrr...

yeay yeay.. i am back wif updates.. i had a fun filled weekend.. hee..

Thursday
met up wif fang hui after work.. had dinner at subway! so yummilicious.. haha.. some chit chatting session with her.. toking abt uni, jobs..
after which we went shopping ! hehe.. i bought a new top..! hee..
its a great meet up session wif her..
girl.. we shall meet up more often k! hehe.. for shopping too! next week next week ! haha..

Friday
usual day at work.. wang told us we will be starting our shift work at the start of july.. thats like so fast ! so it only means i have only 1 mth to pick up everything.. but fret not! i am clever by nature.. so i can do it de ! haha.. =x
After work.. went over to rh's place and waited for wee n spencer.. we went wala wala for a drink.. n the chicken wings there are so so so yummilicious lo!! shit.. think at the rate i am going i am turning into a fatty pom pom liaoz..
Hanz came over to join us.. but i left rather early bcos i was really veri tired..

Saturday
Inital plan was to go sentosa wif az.. but was cancelled in the end.. so i pig thru out the day..
n i was supposed to go over to crist's place for his bday celebration.. end up also nv go.. cos my mom pulled mi out to the supermarket to help her wif the groceries.. by the time i reached home it was veri veri late le..
I went over to jerm's place.. supposingly to celebrate rh's bday.. but end up we were all playing xbox there.. haha...
i thrash everyone in the soulcalibur !! haha.. especially rh... 14 straight wins... li hai ba!! n the best thing is i win them just by using basic moves.. haha.. they play until bth..
then was drinking session.. but onli for awhile then we left le.. cos its alreadi morning liaoz..

Sunday
came home.. wanted to go running de.. suddenly in the mood for tt.. cos i think everytime when i am feeling veri down.. i just want to sweat myself out so i ko.. in the end i was too tired for it...
slept all the way till 5 plus 6 haha.. got woken up by jr asking mi to meet up for dinner...
but today i decided i shall be a good gal and acc my mom since she cooked my dinner le.. hee.. next week on.. think will do alot of ot liaoz.. booo....


somehow everything feels weird without him by my side.. i miss him alot.. i know in my heart.. no one can ever replace him..
i know he has moved on.. so i will be strong too.. i will move on.. even if it means i will miss him forever..

today is a super tiring day at work... standing all the way.. boo...

supposed to meet up wif rh n wee for a drink... but i was too tired... sorry ar.. lol.. i want my beauty slp... didnt have enough slp for the past few days...

zzzzzzzz...

I really wanna say a big thank you to az.. thanks alot my dear girl.. this morning when i saw her msg.. for the first time i smiled.. love ya! muacks..


today it was stil tt bad.. but i experienced sth that i nv tot i would face.. i think i am beginning to hate him.. mayb i just hate the way he dont reply to sms..i started to tell myself if he wanna disappear like that.. i would do the same.. i would even disappear from rh they all..
i know this is selfish.. but i dont know why i will react this way..


nvm abt that.. anyway today, something major happened at work.. mandy, our lab manager called for an urgent meeting.. she was mentioning abt the whole company's lab quality standards.. Suddenly, i start to question myself if i am really abiding by the quality results.. She said bcos of a small mistake made by a lab analyst, the company might lose one of its important clients.
If that happens, the lab analyst will have to bear full responsibilities for it and will get sacked..

and all a sudden, i just realised that i havent face such things in the past.. to be truthful i felt afraid.. welcome to the harsh realities of the working world.. faintz..

today muang n DL keep imitating mi.. the way i laugh.. the way i respond.. the way i look around.. they said i look so blur and the way i look around is like a squirrel.. qi si wo le.. n i got shoot by benjamin's rubber bands again!
tsk tsk.. i think i got myself into some trouble again.. somehow the feeling DL gave mi isnt veri nice hur.. he keeps calling mi his girlfren and is very touchy towards mi.. always trying to ask mi out n today he wanted to send mi home..
so after work.. i jitao ran away from him.. I m scared la.. just dont wanna get myself into this kind of shit again.. enough of this kind of crap..

i am really really really heartbroken..

lingzi msg mi and i seek her view.. it just did not feel better..

i tot i could be stronger but yet just the slightest memory made my heart ache that i nearly cried at work today..

i cried when i dragged my feet back home.. i must be stronger..

Kai Xin u are such a dumb arse.. u are so stupid.. why must u even cry for him.. Since he did not even reply u, mayb he dont even give a damn abt u... so stop thinking !!!! *slap*

sometimes i really wonder is it wrong to request that i need a rest in a r/s... why must he react tt way... to think i stil tot of how he would feel so i tried to make it not so hurting..

he can actualli say if thats the way i want it.. so be it lo..

i dont understand why he can change so much.. how can he say such a fucked up statement.. it just shows how much he heck care abt this r/s.. and if thats the case, i dont see why i keep trying to improve things..

yesterday i tot about everything.. i admit i stil feel the pain bcos i stil love him alot.. but i just dont know how can he change so much... i just feel that he really treated mi so unfairly..

why he used to treat his ex-gf so nicely... and for mi.. he just take things for granted...

sometimes i really wanna say it into his face that i am not his chu qi tong... he like it, he do wat he wan... he dont like it, he just flare up.. and i have been wondering to myself how mani times i for no reason, become the victim of his anger pangs again..

i always try to be understanding towards him.. bcos i know his work is veri stressful.. but i myself is facing stress at work.. whu the hell come listen to mi and comfort mi...

and i just realise... for the past few mths... the number of times he went out drinking wif his frens is much more than the number of times he went out wif mi... it seems to mi that his frens, his drinking, his clubbing everything else is so much more impt than mi..

i know right now.. he is stil very playful.. he stil wans to enjoy as much as he can.. i did not say much.. i just hope he has his own limits.. but it seems like he doesnt have it.. haiz..

since he cant put his heart into this r/s.. i think its only right i dont tie him down.. i want to leave wif beautiful memories in my heart..

i know i will miss him alot alot.. n i know in my heart i stil hope that one day he will go back to his old self and i stil wish that i will go back into his arms again...

There are many things i wish to buy.. due to the window shopping i had on last friday n saturday.. lol..

I wanna buy those puffed sleeves tee.. they look so cute..

I need to get more skirts and dresses..

I need to get watches bcos all my watches spoil le !!!

I need to get more normal jeans for my work..

I wanna get levis square fit jeans bcos mine got stained by the fuel oil during work.. argh !...

I wanna get the new levis lady jeans.. its so beautiful!

I wanna get more small and handy bags..

Lastly, i wanna get hold of N80 !

ok.. until i get hold of all of tt.. i will be broke by then.. lol..
anyway.. today's mc for mi.. ytd i went home in the mid afternoon cos i was feeling veri unwell.. my stupid boss stil so reluctant to let mi go.. faintz..

ytd night my temperature shot up to 39.4 degrees.. so i went to the doc for the second time.. and mayb bcos of the high temp.. my head feels veri heavy now..

He came over to acc mi to the doc.. After dinner, i watched "so u think u can dance" n he just fell aslp.. before he left.. he was complaining that its veri hot.. n his reaction wasnt veri nice.. i got alittle upset by it.. but i just kept quiet.. mainly bcos i wasnt feeling well and i desperately wanted to go to bed..

i had a real fun filled weekends... but then again.. i fell sick again.. and this time i really felt weak.. i was so afraid i wouldnt be able to go work tml.. i dont wanna take mc..

ok.. i cant rem wat i was doing from monday to wednesday.. think i met up wif him.. oh well.. thursday after work.. i went down to momo wif ahgong n gb.. been so long since i went to club.. it was fun.. but sickening at the same time bcos of some bloody guys.. n guess who i saw there..

him...

right.. i dont wanna mention the details anymore.. cos its really no point.. wat i dont understand is such a simple thing he cant even do.. and everything is back to square one again.. he looked very shock to see mi there.. a msg saying sorry was sent to mi.. i ought to be angry but i wasnt at all...

instead i was very hurt.. hurt so badly that it didnt matter to me anymore.. he sort of reach my max.. 1 more silly stuff.. everything will be gone..

i went home feeling so fucked up.. i began to think abt everything betw us.. from frens till now.. i have only one thing to say.. all guys are jerks.. when they are chasing after u.. they can treat u so good.. after all that.. they just dont give a damn..

friday i went sentosa with charlene.. was stil thinking if i should go.. bcos i was on standby.. anytime i could get call back to work.. but anyway i stil went.. i badly needed some break from my life..
after tt we went to meet hanz, puwen, spencer and hc at town..
we went to watch mi3 at the grand cathy!! yipee.. haha.. actually i was supposed to watch wif him.. but i just felt i should just heck care abt him le.. i really couldnt be bothered..

sat i went to work.. and my colleagues were like psycho-ing mi to go play mj wif them.. so dotz.. -_- i went to je swimming complex wif puwen after that.. supposingly got alot ppl de.. in the end only the 2 of us.. we tok abt everything.. but mostly on my problems..
at the end of day i was telling myself i shouldnt be so bad.. i should just forgive him.. so i went over his place despite the fact that i knew he will be working late..

i waited till 1 plus 2 am.. at that moment of time i was feverish already.. so i went to rest.. thru out the night.. i kept waking up to see if he's back.. and i just cant help but to think i am really damn stupid.. i keep questioning myself why am i caring so much for him.. i find myself saying its all not worth it anymore..

he came back at around 7 plus 8 in the morning.. telling mi he's veri tired from work and his stomach is not feeling well.. the first tot that came into my mind wasnt abt his well-being.. but whether i should believe in wat he said.. i really dont know.. should i trust him or not..

but i was really too sick to think abt all that.. i went back to slp.. went home early noon.. bcos at tt moment he really felt like a stranger to mi.. its so weird... nth mentioned abt thursday.. yes, he did explained on e sms.. but so wat.. just a few words can gain back my trust? i dont think so..

hmmm... mayb once i have fully recovered.. i will have to start thinking abt all these..

erm.. i dont know wat to blog about..
basically i have been working n working.. but its really alot of fun.. my colleagues really make mi forget all the worries weighing mi down.. and suddenly there, i am being so doted upon.. although they always bully mi.. but they also make sure i dont get into trouble.. ha!

i have nth much to update actually.. cos i dont know where to start from.. i think i should start worrying for my future.. e other time jr just analysed for mi the pro and cons of obtaining a degree.. i am stil thinking abt it.. but i know if i wanna continue my studies.. i will have to let go of something..

people change with time, dont they
and yet they cant see it for themself..

haiz..